I am wrapped up in my bed, snuggled in a fluffy down comforter. I am too hot. I don't have my contacts on--so things are a little blurry. But I can still see all the stuff I have cluttering up my room. I can still see the piles of books I bought but have not taken the time to read, the closet of clothes I left for six months and never missed--but still have.

I have everything I could ever hope for--and still seem to acquire more. and more. and more. When I was in Bangladesh I had only the things that would fit in one suitcase--and as I remember--that was plenty.

Its cold here in Walla Walla--but I am too hot. I have too many blankets, and the heat is working too well in my house. I was actually thinking last night--it is too hot in here! I can't even sleep" Then I read things like this:

Beverly Waid

Beverly Waid It is soooo cold in Bangladesh!!! We are putting layers of clothes on our chidlren!! They look fat!!! children and older people are dying because of the cold. I pray this does not last so long!!! We have our little heaters for the children and we use them for class time, too! Maybe it helps a little bit! Please pray this cold will go very soon.....it's the humidity that makes it soooo cold!!!

This forces me to remember how lucky I am. To remember how lucky I am to have layers to fight the cold. How lucky I am that my children in Bangladesh have warm sweaters.

But I also remember what so many others in Bangladesh do not have. I remember seeing 100's of people lined up for miles outside BanglaHope--just to get a blanket. They would quickly wrap their frail bodies in these thin blankets. It was so cold--I'm ashamed to say I had three of these blankets on my bed. The thought still hurts. I remember seeing that bitter cold they felt. The cold that their paper thin skin could just not keep out.

I wake up this morning and see the stuff I have--the warmth I took for granted. The clutter of things I do not use. It makes that familiar feeling of guilt, disgust, and shame slam into my heart. I have felt this feeling so often, in bangladesh, back home--I have SO much--

Walla Walla University Week of Worship is this week. I have been challenged to fast for 40 days. I have prayed and thought--thought and prayed and I have decided to go on a no more stuff for me fast. This means no more buying extra things for me--clothes, knickknacks, art stuff, make-up, jewelry, whatever else I don't need. No more buying into stress, worry, anger, dislike. Just simply being me. Being just me. No more filling my life with things I don't need--but instead hopefully learning to be happy with what I have, who God has made me, and open to what he wants me to become.

I also hope to de-clutter. I have this picture in my mind of outfitting a someone who actually needs--with the best I have. Letting her pick her favorite thing from my closet--and then saying have it--not looking at prices--not just giving things I don't like--but giving someone what they love. This might be a lofty thought--It might be hard to do when I see my favorite dress being picked--but then I think--my mom has always said the best gift you can give is one that you would want to keep for yourself.

I want to learn more about being less.