Heart Healer.

Some days my heart is meaty and thick

Its the very things that makes me tick. 

It thuds and pumps

Twirls and jumps.

Gives life to this soul 

It helps me live whole. 

But today it felt flayed and raw 

Like someone had hacked away with a dull cold saw

The blade cut deep

I swear the heavens could hear me weep.  

The song of sorrow 

Is something that doesn't pass by 'marrow

He festers and lingers 

and clutches with his boney, ice cold fingers.

His grasp leaves marks blue and black

Plea, beg, just stop this attack.

My heart strings are exhausted.  

The icy hand has cast them stone, cold, frosted.

Sometimes this world feels grim

Like I can do nothing but struggle to simply swim

But my Savior, my Savior

Promises to be the expert healer

He gives lives life to this soul 

He enables me to live whole. 

He melts the stone cold ice

And gives love to fully suffice.

This morning the sun pierced through my window.  The white plastic blinds I have do nothing to block out the bright light.

I find freedom in the morning - space to think, dream, breathe, be quiet.  I don't have to talk, perform or fill any shoes.  I don't have to look a certain way or complete a certain task from the to-do-list.  I can just be.  I can be whatever I want to be - sleepy, tired, scared, wishing, confused, disheveled, dreaming: me.  No pressure.  Whoever I am, in that moment.

This morning I lit my new mango candle, put on my favorite tunes and danced. around. my. room. in. my. underwear.  No fear.  No embarrassment.  No inhibition.  Only that piercing-morning-light could see, and that light, that light never judges.

Watch This: 

Blast IT!

Love this song.  It is food to my aspiring soul. 

thoughts in picture

Advise:

Perfect Study Outfit: 

Truth:

Dream House:

I love playing dress-up--

I love putting on glossy lipstick

and smooth body butters--

I love coloring my eye lids with hues of glow

and polishing up from head-to-toe.

I love the feeling of looking in the mirror and truly thinking--"I look beautiful"

But I never want to be simply Pretty.

I want to be pretty and more--

I want to be inspiring, intelligent, real.

I want to wear pure, uninhibited joy

and smooth away my wrinkles with love.

I want to gloss my lips with kindness

and frost my eyes with forgiveness

I want to look in the mirror and truly think--"I feel beautiful--from the inside out"

For I have realized that joy, kindness, and forgiveness

are accessories essential to any outfit.

They are worth more then a pretty face--

and can cover any unseemly marks

I love to play dress-up--

I love the feeling of glossy lips

and shiny shoes--

But I have realized that dressing up on the outside

is never fully as beautiful without

love, passion, and compassion completely filling the inside.

Thanks Emily:

I am stealing this from a friends blog - it is just that good. 

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, 

high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver